Listening Skills

Communication – Listening

 

Listening is a skill that needs to be learned in any relationship, especially in an intimate relationship.  Listening is not hearing nor is it making assumptions about what your partner thinks and/or feels.  At times when one communicates they are thinking about their responses to what they’re hearing.  That is not active listening.  Listening involves the utilization of all your senses and an awareness of the communicators senses.  What is being said – how is it said – what their body language is like as they speak - the tone of ones voice.  We need to not only listen to what is being said but what is not being vocalized.  Ask one for clarification when necessary – asking them to state something in another way that we may understand or have a better grasp on their thoughts and feelings.

 

You need to throw out preconception or your judgments of what you consider to be important or unimportant this doesn’t mean the communicator feels and thinks the same way.  So listening is a skill and an art that can be developed with practice and more practice.

 

 

Listening Skills Practiced

 

1.       Be truly open and receptive to information, focus directly on the speaker.

 

2.       Have an awareness of your beliefs and prejudices.  Listening doesn’t mean you have to alter your beliefs and or thoughts about a subject, it means attempting to understand another’s thoughts or beliefs on an issue.

 

3.       Observe the body language.  It has been stated that 75% to 85% of communication is non-verbal.  Is the person tense or relaxed?  What are the facial expressions; do they seem in sync with the words?  Are they looking directly at you or away?  A significant amount of research has been done on non-verbal communication.  One of my favorite things is listening to a politician’s words while at the same time observing their body language.

 

4.       Do not let a speaker’s delivery stop you from listening.  They may have a voice that is irrating but doesn’t mean they don’t have a message to deliver.

 

5.       Do not interrupt anything one says because our beliefs are different.

 

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